Managing Fear

[reefman24]

I had some similar experiences. There are several take aways for me once I broke it down.

1. I'm in different shape than I used to be, and the changes appear subtle until I am working at depth...

2. I don't dive anywhere as near as often as I used to, so comfort and confidence are diminished, and appropriately so. See above.

3. I am now a proud parent. See above. Also, it changed my psychology for a variety of reasons. Preservation of self to care for my son, a sense of fragility of life etc. And, nothing else holds as much joy or seems as important as it used to. The rush of the cave is replaced in a large part by being around my son.


4. My regs need service. On the surface, no problem, but working at depth one starts pulling hard enough that I suspect CO2 retention. Introduce a lack of confidence in gear (and self) now we're heading down that rabbit hole you mentioned.

So, I've decided to put cardio as a #1 priority in a newly renewed fitness campaign. I did a full stress test and physical to rule out health problems. I'm getting more sleep (he sleeps through the night now. THANK YOU MELATONIN!!) Regs are being rebuilt and going back to rubber hoses (from Miflex) for safety/peace of mind.

And, I'll be honest, Ive added a low dose of antidepressant which I refer to as "fuckitall", as I find it a lot easier to stay calm no matter what avalanche of BS is coming my way. I did a number of progressively deeper but benign OW dives to confirm no surprise side effects.

But like everyone else says, be cool, take it easy, collect yourself, and just go slow and enjoy!

YMMV

That's along the lines I was thinking, maybe a bit of hypercapnia? I find if I've been working a bit too hard to get geared up, start trying to force things, and I don't take a few minutes to relax a bit before I start my dive, then I'm rather uneasy for the beginning of the dive. Eventually I mellow out, but if I start to get any of those anxious thoughts, I quit swimming and relax to allow any of that co2 to offgas and wait until I have a clear mind before proceeding with the dive. If I take my time getting in the water, insuring ive done all of my equipment checks properly, made sure I analyzed my gas for o2 and co, clear my head and mentally rehearse the plan, I have no negative thoughts or feelings. Nothing there weighing on me, and I can enjoy the dive. Should any anxiety creep up on me it's usually because I am too hot or I am working too hard in the flow, so I slow it down and regain positive control. Just what works for me.

[johnnyh]

Fear is one of your best tools and yet can be one of your worst enemies. It certainly added to my impact with DCS last July. Diving the Doria with Gary Gentile he taught me to listen to my fear. So true - literally a month later I ignored that advice and nearly paid with my life (different story from my DCS story mind you.)

Here's my personal experience...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0t8djdervQw

[cavedivingwoman]

Hi Cameron - you didn't mention how long you've been diving in caves or whether the cave in question was familiar, deep, silty, high flow, etcetera. Personally, I always listen to the little voice broadcasting "danger here, get out." It has probably saved my life when I worked in emergency departments and locked psychiatric units. I'll call dives (open water, cave, whatever) if I'm uneasy, sometimes right at the water's edge.

Two things stand out to me: Your weeklong apprehension before the dive, and your diving conservatively using 8ths. Probably it's worth some thought and attention to analyzing what about the dive made you uncomfortable. Congratulations on keeping it conservative. I agree with the folks who say you should do some confidence building dives for now. Maybe spend some time with a trusted mentor.

Another thought - are you having fear or anxiety? The latter can be lingering or sudden onset, whild true fear usually is a "fight-or-flight" response. In either case, why is this happening now, and should you take a break or cut back until it subsides?

Please keep us posted. Usually the gut doesn't lie.

Best to you,
Barbara

[Jay]

This is a tough subject.
I have called dives before in OW, Wreck and Cave because of that feeling in the back of my mind. Sometimes before entering the water or shortly thereafter.
It sounds like you had anxiety all week before you dove. You cannot seperate anxiety from fear.
Anxiety is good at lower levels. It heightens your awareness in preparation for and actual performance of challenging tasks.
I believe that anxiety is the root cause of fear in diving or similar pursuits.
When anxiety reaches a certain point, such as when it starts to interfere with logical thinking, it manifests itself in 'fear'.
It can range from that voice in the back of your head to an overwhelming "fight or flight" response.
When anxiety becomes overwhelming to the point of what we consider panic it is hard to control.
Panic kills in cave diving.
I believe you need to manage your anxiety about these cave dives.
There have been many great suggestions in this thread about how to do that. They have covered the physiological aspects of being in shape, well rested, etc, and the technical aspects of gear, site conditions et al.
Even some good suggestions for the psycological aspects.
When anxiety starts becoming an issue for me, my first and best response is to stop and do some deep breathing.
I think that if you look at your 'fear' as being developed from anxiousness or anxiety and then treat it as anxiety (which it likely is) you will be able to manage it better.

And you are not alone in that feeling!!!!!

[shellmoundal]

If you can stay down for 74 minutes on 1/8ths you probably have the best SAC Rate of any person I have heard of.
If I had fear in diving, no matter what type, I would find a new sport. Having butterflies before a dive means you are aware of possible situations that could occur. The problem with anxiety is that it can turn to fear in a second. The question is can you control the fear when it arises and not have it turn to multiple problems? Much easier to do in open water.
I have to agree with others on this post, I would not cave dive but stay in OW in comfortable and familiar surroundings.
One day you may overcome your fear. I use to be claustrophobic. I don't understand it but sometime in my life I lost that fear.
Be careful and listen to your instincts. It must be pretty serious for you to take the time and post such a personal post as this.
Stay safe.

[Northernone]

Good day.

Reflecting on your cautions I took 5 months away from cave diving. Put around 300 hours bottom time in OW and caverns.

Today I returned to the caves for 78 minutes. Calm, everything that I loved.

Feels good to be back.
Cameron

[Aquabot]

Stop, breath, think, act.

Then go back and do the dive again to remove the psychological wall.

I also don't completely agree with the "don't push your comfort zone". We need to push that zone some in order to grow. If it was never pressed you would never improve.

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk

[bent]

.... I took 5 months away from cave diving. Put around 300 hours bottom time in OW and caverns.

How did you do that? 300 hours in 5 month? That's 2 hours of BT every single day.

[Scubaru]

74 mins on 1/8ths, 300 hours in 5 months... Cameron has turned into a fish.

[Northernone]

Moving to cozumel for the winter and bringing my rebreather and a camera certainly helped.

And since we're on the topic of anomalies, my SAC isn't particularly light (generally .42 when calm) but the cenote is beautifully shallow. (Average depth 9ft).

Not sure this thread has put me on the short list of desirable dive buddies, but I do thank the community for the feedback on my situation.

-Cameron