The Florida Bird {Mosquito}

[OFG-1]

To avoid mosquito problems I should rub myself all over with a dryer sheet soaked in DEET, while shaving a cat and smoking a cigar?

Bill, it is only the sequence that you do not have correct.
1- Shave the cats. This can be done at home to avoid task loading at the dive site
2 - Purchase several "El Rope-o" delux stogies. These seem to make better smoke then the "Dog-turdo" brand
3 - Get a box of your favorite dryer sheets, and a 2 liter bottle of DEET. Also go to K mart and get 2 or 3 bottles of citronella oil torch fuel.
4- Fill one old windex bottle with water, to dampen your shaved cats. You don't want them soaking wet, just damp
5 - Upon arrival at the dive site, tie out the cats, and dampen them lighly before you gear up.
6 - Disrobe, and cover yourself with a very wet coating of deet. Be sure to wipe off the excess with the dryer sheet, prior to lighting up the stogie. There could be unfortunate burns if excees deet is not removed.
Make two trails of citronella oil from your truck to the dive site, you will light one of them with the stogie as you head for the water
7 - After suiiting up, redampen the cats, light up the stogie,, fire up the citronella, and head for the water. Leave the stogie and lighter near the steps so you can get to it when you surface.
8 - When you surface, relight the stogie, light the second trail of citronella oil, go and drain your fins on the cats to re dampen them, dry yourself with the remaining dryer sheets rather than a stupid towel, go and collect your cats, and you are done.

I will be submitting this to PADI later this month as a distinctive speciality.

[Cindy]

Please add 'cover well with mosquito webbing.' I did all that except shave the cat (she bites!) and still the buggers bit me! I'm looking forward to fall already. Cindy Butler

[MilFalcon]

It's not a bird really...

[OFG-1]

Please add 'cover well with mosquito webbing.' I did all that except shave the cat (she bites!) and still the buggers bit me! I'm looking forward to fall already. Cindy Butler

Without the shaved cats, my plan does not work. Feed your cat well, put her in a warm place, wait for her to fall asleep, and then get out about 2 quarts of Nair. Problem solved.

[michael-fisch]

I've still got 2 OD spraycans of DDT, that I inherited from the US Army back in the mid 60's. If the bugs are real bad, a short spray is enough to be bug free for hours.
Sarin and VX are supposed to work real well too, but I never had a chance to try them out when they were still available.

Michael

[Maya]

[/quote]

Old sniper trick, watch the bugs and look to see which plants they avoid and then rub those plants all over you (be careful though as poison ivies are on their list of non-desirable plants.) The last thing we wanted was any strange odor giving our hide away, or to be constantly slapping away pests. Catnip oil has been proven to be about 10 times more effective than DEET, although it does present other problems for all except ofg-1. Most mints make good natural repellents and Marigold is full of perethins(sp?), a very strong insecticide. There are plenty of alternatives to the harsh chemicals out there.[/quote]

There is a plant called pennyroyal, one of the mints. The oil from that plant works great. It is available at health food stores. Be sure you get the oil and not the tincture!

[Capt. S. Narco]

A well steamed quart of Campbells Pork & Beans, & a 16oz carbonated soda beverage consumed one hour before your dive, should do the tirick too, only make sure that you run real fast thru the woods so that you have plenty of pressure built up inside of your stomach before you let loose & de-gas the woods with your effervessence-!

[Bobby]

I bought one of those slick little butane repellers at Bass Pro shop and it works great. Fire it up and in a few seconds it keeps an area about 10 feet around clear of the buggers. turn it off when you are ready to get in the h20 then fire it back up when you get out. Replacement pads are inexpensive and last for a long time. Just be sure to let it cool off before throwing it in a bag or something like that.