Loss of Danielle

It has been a very hard 2 weeks. Yes today is my Bday, but it is very hard for me to celebrate it alone this year. For those of you that new me and had met me in the last 3 years you also met my love of my life. I have had many GF through out my life but never truly loved anyone like I did Danielle. Even though this has been over a week ago, her passing, it just had been hard for me to say anything.

I have been in EMS for over 25 years and this is what happened to me. I went from planning a wedding for October 5th to having to work with her parents for a funeral. I had a buddy of mine that some of you all know as Scubabuba help me out with this.

My fiance Danielle Cramer passed from this world to join her heavenly father on Saturday July 14th. Her mother and father and I agreed that she would not wont to be on life support the rest of her life. Her EEG's were decreasing. She was not feeling well and had been throwing up thought out the day and could not keep any food down. I found her and performed CCR until the EMS on duty crews showed up and left the room. They got a heart beat and a BP back and had to assist her ventilations.

There was a memorial service for her on the July 17th and she was even honored as a organ donor. Any donations can be made to St Jude in Memphis.

We held a Pirate Party in celebration of Danielle's life at Waxy's that was very well attended.

Her ashes were buried during a private ceremony at the family ranch that has 1/2 acre as a deeded cemetery. I have kept some so that next trip down I can have another ceremony at JB.

I am sorry for this late notice but it has been very hard for me to know that my job deals with this all the time but not LIKE THIS.

I have had a large amount of support from many of my cave diving buddies for many of you all have met her and many have not. If you would have gotten the chance you would see why I so much in love with her and why we made such a great team.

Give me time and yall will see me back on the boards again. I can only take this one day at a time. I am back to work and the bosses know that at any point I might have to call it a day. Those of you that work EMS know that a large amount of our codes take place where I found her. In the bathroom. It was decided that she vageled out and caused her to go into a arythymia and that she was DX with a long word I can t pronounce (para vocal cord dismal?????) even with my medical knowledge I can't remember what it is. but that caused the hypoxia to her brain and that is what the true problem was.

Thanks yall for understanding, those I have already heard from means so much. I never knew how big my TRUE family was but I feel that she is watching over me and every cave dive keeping me safer and every exploration trip I go on she is still there.

Those that knew her, if you ever get a inkling that maybe you need your nails done or just a bit more bling that is her telling you that ( for the ladies) for the guys, if you get a feeling maybe you should not be here, the maybe she is trying to tell you something so that you will make it back from the dive.

I was able to put her ring on her Saturday the 13th at 8:05 in the morning, her father said "SLIM, its just a bunch of bullshit paper work, your still our son in-law" that meant so much to me.

D, I will always miss you for you were the love of my life. I will see you again, but not yet, not yet.

You will be missed by more than you will ever know.

Love you sweetie. smooochs

I really don't even know what to say. That was more then difficult to even read completely.

Take your time and get back to life slowly. I can not even imagine the pain you are going through. I sit here thinking about how I would feel if it was my wife, and I can barely type this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone who had the opportunity to be touched by the woman you loved. If there is anything we as a community can do for you, please let us know.


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That was beautiful, brother SLIM. Keep on keepin' on. I will make time for a visit here real soon.

WJH

Please accept our deepest sympathies.
You and the family are in our thoughts and prayers.
At times like these words are useless and mute only know that you are not alone.

JCG

In the arms of angels.... So sorry is not enough but all I can say.

Hang in there Slim. We love you and you are definitely in our thoughts and prayers.

Sandy

Dang Slim, so sorry to hear. Condolences, I was happy to hear when you announced your impending marriage, but I can't imagine what you're going through.

I hope we can dive again soon, if nothing else just to get your mind away from a situation that noone could ever wish for.

My deepest sympathies and much love.
-Jon

I am so sorry for having to read this. I have never met you or "D" but people I know have and had nothing but positive to say. It is very hard road to recover from and you take it at YOUR pace. I have never had to feel your pain and hope I never will, but from a fellow brother, my family and I are here for anything you need. You will always have friends you will never even know in the Fire/EMS world and cave diving. Don't ever be afraid to pick up the phone or send an email if the time arises and you need to talk. I cant even imagine the pain you are going through, but am here if you need. I wish you the best and hope to see and meet you one day. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Be safe and god be with you!!

My condolences. Your tribute was beautiful and moving, she was a very lucky woman to have had you in her life. So sorry that she left you too soon.

So much to say, but I can't find the words...

Your feelings come through so clearly. May her memory be a blessing to you, her family and everyone whose life she touched.

Just my condolences. RIP.

' So very sorry to read this, Slim. Your tribute to Danielle is heart rending. 'No more words, just lots of empathy for you.
Barbara

I am at a loss to say anything. My prayers and condolences Slim.

I am truly sorry for your loss Slim

It is clear there was an abundance of love there. Know that she will always be with you in spirit until you are reunited one day.

Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

So sorry for your loss Slim, I'm at a loss for words. :(

So sorry. God be with you.

Slim sorry to hear about your loss.

Very, very sorry for your loss.

Slim that was beautiful and I know hard to write. I am going to miss the times we all spent together. Words still escape me.

Slim so very sorry for your lost and the lost to those that knew her. Please take care and I pray for the healing to begin.

Slim , my prayers go out to you and your family. I know that the Heavenly Father will comfort you with his wings.
I lost my spouse about 14 years ago , but it was nothing like you just went thru.
I look forward ALWAYS to the Blessed Hope.

Jean

May Danielle's spirit ride with you where-ever you fly Slim. My deepest sympathy goes out to you. I have a loved one in a cancer ICU as we speak, & it is touch & go. Her will to live will only surpass what she has gone thru. I too can relate to what you are feeling.
My prayers are with you...take time & go slow.

Jack e.

Slim, our thoughts and prayers go out to you. Like you, Tracy and I are both in the professions of dealing with tragedies, but no matter how strong you feel your coping mechanisms are, it's totally different when it's one of your own. Tracy came very close to being killed by a drunk driver 16 years ago, but luckily she survived with minimal disabilities. I remember what that felt like for me, and maybe I can understand the tiniest bit of what you're feeling. We've only met once, briefly at JB, but it's evident that a lot of people hold you in the highest regard. Our most sincere condolences to you and your family.

Mike

Slim, there are no words that I can come up with right now to express my sincere condolences, my thoughts and prayers go out for everyone affected by Danielle's passing. Having worked in EMS and Fire for nearly 17 years now, I know how calloused and strong we can appear on the outside even when it's one of our own. Be strong brother, takes things slow, and please don't be afraid to let those emotions out. When you need to talk, reach out to your family, friends, and/or co-workers . It sounds like you have quite a diverse and incredible support base rallying by your side right now, USE THEM, USE THEM ALL !!!!!

She was a great lady, and I will miss her. I hated to hear the bad news. If there is anything I can do, let me know.

so sorry Slimmy.....words cannot convey...

Hugs,

Celia

Slim,
So very sorry to hear this. I will honestly keep you in my prayers and hope youll be ok. I've lost loved ones as many have said but nothing compared to this .

Slim,
This is something I pull from memory, when I loose someone. It's on a stone on our property.

"Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us everyday,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
So loved, so missed so very dear"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SLIM

I have been in EMS for over 25 years and this is what happened to me. I went from planning a wedding for October 5th to having to work with her parents for a funeral. I had a buddy of mine that some of you all know as Scubabuba help me out with this.

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SLIM - Although we've never met, as retired EMS (and one who saw "their fair share"), I can surely sympathize. Nothing anyone can say will help right now, but just know that you are not alone.

All our thoughts.... :smt002

Regards,
Arnold.

Slim, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it'll take some time to come to grips with it all. Others have posted some fine words. There's nothing more I can say, but to send some big virtual hugs.

My condolences Slim. Mere words cannot describe the sorrow I feel for your loss.

Aww Slim, condolences on your loss. My heart goes out to you and I completely understand your pain. Take care of yourself and stay busy. Talk to friends and family who will listen, repeatedly. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, take time to "check out" here and there, but get back into moving forward as soon as possible. Keep moving, ask your God for help, and know we're out here lifting you up now, and as you continue on this journey.

I was floored when I got the news Slim, as it brought back the memories of the loss of my best friend and love of my life. It will be 10 yrs Oct 10 since she has been gone and I miss her as much now as ever. It's not an easy thing and you will never totally get over it. You learn to cope day by day. I had to struggle to focus at first, but I managed to keep my head on straight for the most part. I was determined to find a new dream. I wanted to make "T" proud of me for what I would accomplish. We were an adventurous couple and we shared many thrills during our 13 ys together, but now the adventure was mine alone. I was determined to go on and do and see things I would have never imagined possible. For several months I tried to figure out what that adventure would be...Then a friend of mine said, "I've always wanted to scuba dive". Two weeks later I was starting my open water class and I've never stopped diving since. It's now a passion that helps to fill the void, and YES... Sometimes I do hear her voice and see her smile as she says to me, "Coop, I'm so proud of you". That is the nickname she started calling me when we first met. I know she would be or IS happy to know that I learned to live again...AND it truly is an exciting adventure!

Danielle was a sweet girl and I'm happy that I had the privilege to meet her and share some times with you all at the Hole In The Wall House.

Slim, my deepest condolences to you and Danielle's family. Please lean on family and friends. Take your time. It's a long road to healing. My hope and prayers are that you have as many wonderful friends as I do to help you through this. God Bless.

SLIM,
You know we are always here for you. I am still trying to put it into focus. On the Friday before, you called about doing a dive...but, I am in the middle of a bathroom remodel...Danielle was listening in the background and jumped on...you just have to go diving with Slimmy...he is crawling the walls...well, I do need a break...she even gave me some tiling tips to get me back on schedule...so we dove and then the following Thursday she was in the hospital and by Sunday she left us. I am sure it will be a long time for both you and her family to grasp this. She certainly had a lot of friends as evidenced by the 300+ at the services and huge crowd of pirates at Waxy's on Wednesday night. I don't think any us can believe it. I'll miss you guys stopping over at the house when you all came up to St. Louis and I'll miss the escapades at HnW we shared with her. She was unique, bubbly and fun.

Anytime time buddy...
Jim

So very sorry for your loss.

Slim, only had dinner with you guys a couple of times- Sorry to hear about all this, truly horrible, and I never would have imagined it. Hope you work through it.

Sorry for your loss. I'm also in MO and you will be in my thought.

Thanks all, I new my extended family would help me out. Some have PMd me and some have called me. Many that truly knew us and me understand what I have gone through. I plan and will be at the pond in November and we will have a small memorial to disperse some of her ashes then.

Love you all and all prays and love is welcomed.

SLIM

No words, Slim. You have my sorrow and sympathy. Danielle will truly be missed. God bless buddy.

Thank you for sharing...very loving and touching words. Please accept my condolences

So sorry for your loss SLIM.

I'm sure she knew when you put that ring on her finger. Be at my peace my friend.

Just read the news of your sad loss. Takes my breath away. So sorry, Slim. What great memories you must have. I'll always think about you two and smile. God Bless.