Managing Fear

What do you do when you encounter fear?

------ Backstory and mini confessional. ------
I currently have the opportunity to lay line in a comfortable cave. First I put in 40 hours OW looking at pretty fish and refreshing my drills since I've been out of the caves for 6 months after only having a few hundred hours in hard overheads to begin with.

From the week prior to the day prior to the beginning of the dive there was a sense of boding and unease. Didn't call the dive but stuck to the existing line and used 1/8ths. After 74 minutes of peaceful conditions and nearly flawless diving (excluding my Chernobyl frog kick) and a gut voice of 'you're gonna die' I resurfaced fine.

Been a week since and I am still shaken by a new kind of fear I've never had in caves before and haven't planned another cave dive yet.

I'm asking myself: Is this the voice of wisdom sinking in? Or loose screws? Or bad pizza?

Calm in danger or distress as my background is emergency response and normally caves are my peaceful spot to be. The solid deco dives didn't have the same reaction in me.

----- end psychotic ramblings and picking up my dignity----

Does that sound like a healthy dose of fear? What's your average dive caution?

Regards,
Cameron

Maybe the anxiety of the unknown (laying line in virgin passage) cropped up and was interpreted as general anxiety. There have been times that I have planned easy dives in "easy" caves and got in the water with a monkey on my back and called the dive early and the same goes for hitting new passage in a new cave.

Our brains are all we have when in the caves and making decisions, don't second guess it.

The cave will be there next week and the week after.

Try this litany against fear:

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Herbert, Dune

Bill

I have had instructors tell me that may be narcosis. When everything is fine and a sudden feeling of impending doom comes upon you. I have had that "feeling" before. Just check everything over, remain calm and with a little willpower you should be able to overcome it.

Honestly IMO if what you describe is correct stop cave diving or do way easier less demanding dives than you are currently doing, it sounds to me like you are pushing your comfort zone way too far, way too soon and are on edge the entire dive and in a constant situation were the slightest thing to go wrong will end up throwing you into in panic.

Cave diving is supposed to be fun and is not for everyone, you don't have to cave dive and you are not any braver wether you do.

Thank you for the thoughtful replies.

Particularly helpful was realizing it is because of the new tunnel jitters and to not to force past my brain. A long time dream situation brings new challenges.

So I took bits from each of your replies and planned another dive today. Another comfortable site, but with no virgin passages, calmed longer to purge my co2 build up, ran the litany as best remembered. Spent extra time in the easier passages and a portion in the SM necessary section. 162 minutes of the peace I love. Caves have been a two decade passion for me so I am glad the advice to quit diving in them isn't necessary.

Thank you again for hearing me out and sharing your experience.

All the best,
Cameron


My take away is to prepare for a mental rodeo next time I pick up my knotted line.

Just take it easy and don't push your comfort zone, have fun, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing and never let anyone influence you to do a dive you don't feel comfortable doing.
The best diver is the one who comes out alive and with a smile on his face not the one who constantly pushes his comfort zone.

I personally do not think that there is a caver out there that has not had the hairs raise up on the back of their neck or been "spooked" in a cave before. I have and it was in my favorite cave...Cow. I have seen it a lot in aviation. It seems that after a mishap someone, if survivors, always said, something just did not feel right. Trust your sixth sense, exit and plan for another day. The cave will be there a long time after we are gone. Never push a situation or well outside your comfort zone.

I had some similar experiences. There are several take aways for me once I broke it down.

1. I'm in different shape than I used to be, and the changes appear subtle until I am working at depth...

2. I don't dive anywhere as near as often as I used to, so comfort and confidence are diminished, and appropriately so. See above.

3. I am now a proud parent. See above. Also, it changed my psychology for a variety of reasons. Preservation of self to care for my son, a sense of fragility of life etc. And, nothing else holds as much joy or seems as important as it used to. The rush of the cave is replaced in a large part by being around my son.


4. My regs need service. On the surface, no problem, but working at depth one starts pulling hard enough that I suspect CO2 retention. Introduce a lack of confidence in gear (and self) now we're heading down that rabbit hole you mentioned.

So, I've decided to put cardio as a #1 priority in a newly renewed fitness campaign. I did a full stress test and physical to rule out health problems. I'm getting more sleep (he sleeps through the night now. THANK YOU MELATONIN!!) Regs are being rebuilt and going back to rubber hoses (from Miflex) for safety/peace of mind.

And, I'll be honest, Ive added a low dose of antidepressant which I refer to as "fuckitall", as I find it a lot easier to stay calm no matter what avalanche of BS is coming my way. I did a number of progressively deeper but benign OW dives to confirm no surprise side effects.

But like everyone else says, be cool, take it easy, collect yourself, and just go slow and enjoy!

YMMV

Sometimes I get a little anxious before a dive, but once I get in the water everything's fine. Well, not always fine, problems still occur. But I don't really feel anxious then. Pissed off, annoyed, but rarely anxious. Being off the line in zero vis merits a little anxiety I guess.

It might help just to spend some more time in the water, doing some easy, low task loading dives. Not worrying about running a reel, stages, deco, etc...

I think it can help to spend a little time at the surface with your face down in the water at the start of a dive. It seems like it's often rushrushrush to get the gear out, assembled, to the water and start the dive. Taking a few minutes to just be in the water, calm down, relax and unhurriedly think about what you're doing can be nice.