Well Meaning Relatives!

I’ve been diving for many years but cave diving for only the past three. During all of my open water diving, I never was questioned by family members about my decisions to dive. Recently a widely distributed article (and well written article) by CHRISTINE ARMARIO discussing the deaths of the two divers at Wayne’s World crossed more than one of my family members desk and prompted one to write a personal letter enclosing the article and the other to send me a link to the article, both well meaning, but meaning - to get me to stop this dangerous lifestyle for their sake and peace of mind.

Of course both are not divers, nor have any desire to cave dive, and so are ignorant. The point of my posting is: have any of you been confronted by your well meaning family to stop you from enjoying this activity? Since they are ignorant of the training, the equipment, the types of caves we dive, they can only relate to the articles and death notices that occasionally show up in the press. They know that I am a cave diver. Dead guy was a cave diver. Therefore: Cave diver will end up Dead Guy. The theory is as flawed as can be, but causes them to worry. Since none of my relatives (except my wife and daughter) know when I dive, only that I cave dive, their concern seems a bit misplaced.

Finally, what about you cave diving instructors? When you made the decision to focus on training in an overhead underwater environment, how did your family and friends react?

Any comments are appreciated. Below is the link to the article if you haven’t already read it.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/c...xsvc=7&cxcat=0

Take the article and a yellow highlighter, and highlight every mention of the fact that they were untrained for the type of diving they were doing. Then mail it back to them.

A few years back Harry Averill had an "open letter to family" posted on his old website explaining cave diving etc. You might email him and ask him for a copy.

Get a paper, cut out a bunch of articles where someone died in a car accident. Mail said articles to well meaning relatives and tell them, when they stop driving because they will end up dead in an accident, then and only then, will you stop diving.

Just a thought.

On a more serious note, just explain to them what the truth is. The ones who died were not trained as you are, they went where they shouldn't have gone, blah blah blah...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deep-Thief

Get a paper, cut out a bunch of articles where someone died in a car accident. Mail said articles to well meaning relatives and tell them, when they stop driving because they will end up dead in an accident, then and only then, will you stop diving.

Just a thought.

On a more serious note, just explain to them what the truth is. The ones who died were not trained as you are, they went where they shouldn't have gone, blah blah blah...

---

Actually I like the car accident angle better. It is far safer to cavedive than drive to the caves!

The greatest compliment I ever received from a family member was along these lines: "I don't know anything about WHAT you're doing, but I know you. And I know you'll do the right thing, get whatever training or equipment you need, and make good decisions. So, I'm not any more worried about you cave diving than anything else you do."

FWIW, I think Christine's article was one of the best I've seen for showing to family members because it highlights WHY they died.

Yes, I sent both a note stating that the deaths were to untrained cave divers, etc. But I suspect they will still think, "Dead Guy diver, you diver. Therefore soon to be Dead Guy". FWIW I'm not about to stop cave diving.

As I mentioned when this happened in November my two children asked me to stop cave diving after they heard about this incident.
It hit them hard because they go to school with and know one of the deceased diver's children.
I did not give them an answer until later that day when I picked them up from school. I told them the basics of why the divers died with the emphasis being on them unfortunately deciding to do this dive without the proper training and experience.
I reminded them of how careful and methodical I am about my diving and then I also talked about the dangers of everyday life -- such as getting into a car accident, etc.
(My newly scuba certified son was quick to point out though that you don't have to wear tanks on your back for survival while driving or riding in a car....)
I guess the bottom line is that they see and know how I go about my diving and dive training and they can see that I'm careful and respectful with it.
I was reminded of a day during my full cave course when my instructor asked if I thought I was ready to move up to the next level of training. And since I had had a somewhat bad day of diving I said no. He agreed and said good, because I don't want to have to tell your wife you died because I certified you before I thought you were ready.
I said thanks.
(Thanks again Jim....)

Unfortunately, it's my family that keeps me from continuing on to further training. While I am nearly 21 years old, my family is a huge influence on my life. My parents pay for school, help with the car, all of the above. I'm extremely grateful for what they do. That being said, I either live under their roof and stick to cavern diving, or I take Basic and I'm out on my own from now on. All of the articles, explaining, and talking haven't made a difference. It's a "risk they are unwilling to assume."

Keeping all of that in mind, nothing will stop me from cave diving at one point in my life when the time is right.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Scubastud16

my family that keeps me from continuing on to further training

---

They're not keeping you from continuing, they're just delaying it. Don't worry about it, just PERFECT your cavern skills so that when you're on your own you'll be a better cave diver.

I was in my late thirties before I began cave diving. Don't rush things. The caves will be there for a long time. And there's a LOT of cavern to be seen.