As an sometimes small town ER doctor I've seen my share of stupidity involving guns and nail guns.
My favorite was the guy nailing a board between his legs with the nail gun. He nailed his penis to the board. That involved a helicopter flight to the big-city for emergency penis repair.
I also had a Darwin Award applicant who shot his face with a handgun. He was looking down the front-end of the barrel after cleaning it to make sure it was clean. It went "boom!". Duh!
He was incredibly lucky, he only got some powder burns to the face as the bullet grazes his ear.
I NEVER understood how anybody could clean a loaded gun! My father, a fanatic about gun safety, was cleaning a 30-06. He had it on a table, muzzle pointed at the ceiling, when it went off. The bullet went through the ceiling into the girls bedroom. It missed everyone, but.... !! Of course nobody had the nerve to ask him why the rifle even came into the house still loaded.
Forrest Wilson (with 2 Rs)
Any opinions are personal.
That reminds me of one of my favorite "reports" from Weekend Update. I don't remember the specifics, so I will paraphrase:
"John Smith was arrested yesterday for shooting his wife, his two children, his wife's father, his next-door neighbor, the neighbor's wife, the neighbor's dog, and the UPS driver. Smith explained that he was cleaning his gun and it just went off."
Whoever said money can't buy love never bought a puppy.
Sounds like some of the Army officers in Iraq that "cleared" their pistols with the magazine inserted.
Officer: The chamber was empty why did it fire when I pulled the trigger?
MP: Sir, you loaded it not cleared it, please come with me.
I had a good friend take a SAW that was handed to him from the top of a humvee. The idiot in the turret cleared it but had a three round link in the weapon still somehow. Three rounds went right between my fiends legs when she handed it down to him. Lucky for him he is 6'6".
It's not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years.
I came home one night when I lived in a less than safe part of Dallas to find the front door open, where I knew I had locked it. I had my oldest in the car, he was 10, (wife and other kid were still at church) and told him to lay down and be quiet till I came to get him. I went straight to my bedroom and pulled a 9mm Baretta off the top shelf in the closet, cleared the house and was putting the gun back up in the dark and tripped. See this coming dont ya... I pulled the trigger, shot through 3 pieces of hard Samsonite lugage, riccocheted off the ceiling rafter and chipped the enamel on the bathtub 2 rooms over. When I regained my composure I remembered Josh in the car and went out to see him peering over the dash... "Did ya get him dad?"
The wife... not happy. It was her luggage.
Somewhere in Killeen Tx., there is a 30MM cannon round fired from an Apache helicopter. The extractor had torn the shoulder off of the aluminum cartridge, so the round was not extracted by the bolt. Failure to extract did not however keep the round from firing. The clearing procedure required cycling the bolt manually to clear the cannon, we added pushing a broom stick down the barrel to ensure no round was stuck after that incident.
Never did find the round, but we lived in fear for a few weeks of someone finding a body in a house, the ballistic experts had the High School as the center of the greatest probability of hit.
Created a new award know as the "Ready, Fire, Aim" award.
Well, he won't have to worry about being dysfunctional for too much longer:
I decided that I needed a redundant glowstick --Mark Schroder