View Full Version : 2009 Halloween Spooky Cave Diving Limericks Contest
2009 Halloween Spooky Cave Diving Limericks Contest
http://www.cavediver.net/images/cdfhalloween2009.jpg
Winner gets: Intova 130 lumens LED light, 6 cookies, and 2 spools
Rules:
5 lines.
Rhyme structure is AABBA (lines 1,2 and 5 rhyme, and 3 & 4 rhyme with each other. Their "beat" is da-da-DAH da-da-DAH da-da-DAH.
Lines 1, 2, and 5 generally have seven to ten syllables, while lines 3 and 4 have only five to seven syllables. Their beat is da-da-DAH da-da-DAH.
It has to have a relation to cave diving and halloween or spooky.
Deadline 30 October 2009
I thought up different examples, but one may have offended Andrew and Forrest didn't like the one with his name in it either... So here's a 'tame' one... not perfect but an Example: :smt102
The cave diver, quite feminine, not burly
Her gear was homemade and squirrely
She went into the abyss
Until something did come amiss
Grim Reaper ran away crying "It's Shirley!
JerseyJersey
09-25-2009, 06:01 PM
The Devil dives Ginnie tonite
His plan is to cause such a fright
Use his eye or his ear
Which causes more fear?
Which tunnel, the left or the right
From Hell he had followed gold line
Til he came to a cute little sign
He blinked and he twitched
Cause he didn’t know which
Would cause the most havoc this time
He gave a great heave and a sigh
He decided to not even try
With no damage done
And harm to no one
He gave tonights divers safe by
The Devil dives Ginnie tonite
....
That is pretty good!
MORGAN
09-25-2009, 08:59 PM
Oh, no! Not again! Last time I was thinking in limericks for a month! Like having a tune stuck in your head, but orders of magnitude more annoying.
Mike
I guess this puts you in 1st place....
Good one!
tj
The Devil dives Ginnie tonite
His plan is to cause such a fright
Use his eye or his ear
Which causes more fear?
Which tunnel, the left or the right
From Hell he had followed gold line
Til he came to a cute little sign
He blinked and he twitched
Cause he didn’t know which
Would cause the most havoc this time
He gave a great heave and a sigh
He decided to not even try
With no damage done
And harm to no one
He gave tonights divers safe by
BillBowden
09-25-2009, 11:15 PM
I think this one will be very hard to beat! Great Job!
K Mejean
09-26-2009, 10:10 AM
I had a buddy who's name was Dave
All he ever wanted was to dive in a cave
So one day he ventured into the hole
Not realizing it would cost him his soul
Now there's nothing else he craves
He found it to be dark and scary
The situation soon got harry
He lost his way from the gold line
He knew that he was short on time
He started crying to Mother Mary
As he waited for his time to die
A dark dressed stranger came swimming by
Old mother Mary was no where to be found
It was the Grimm Reaper swimming around
In a cave he would say his last goodbye
He begged and pleaded to make a deal
His soul he would trade for one last meal
The reeper laughed and said with a smile
Why don't you just stay for a while
But the reeper gave in and passed him a reel
Now it is his soul he owes
But he made sure that no one knows
He will live the rest of his life
Never knowing if tonights the night
The reeper will come to get what is owed
sskasser
09-26-2009, 04:19 PM
Nice one! It should be read over a campfire late at night!
Shirley (who's thankfully not burly!)
Sam2000001
09-27-2009, 10:05 AM
Into the darkness, not knowing when,
Something splits that grenade and safety pin.
Don't shrug it, you might be next,
Problems simple, to quite complex.
Now who notifies next of kin?
Terry D
09-27-2009, 06:24 PM
The air in my tank became colder
I knew I shouldn’t be bolder
So I turned and swam fast
As I felt the hot blast
And it came up and grabbed me by my shoulder
It was so very, very near
My life, although short, was so dear
And yet with great dread
I knew I was dead
That, my friend, is the true meaning of fear
As I ponder and I take stock,
Of my life, barrel and crock,
I shudder one time
Say a goodbye so sublime
And now I will haunt you at Peacock
sskasser
09-27-2009, 11:33 PM
Brrrrrrrrrrrr! Terry, that one gives me chills! Great one!
Terry D
09-28-2009, 10:07 AM
Through the cave, I heard a soft bubble
I knew then that I was in trouble
The air, it was lost
My valve, it was frost
My bones are still in the rubble
Terry D
09-28-2009, 10:52 AM
The newbie cave diver went to the well
And this is the story she wanted to tell
She was brave, she was new
Rules are not for me, only you
And the cave, it became her own cell
MORGAN
09-29-2009, 08:18 AM
Two divers one Halloween night,
Dove a cave with no training, one light...
In the Stygian pools
Where the Grim Reaper rules
They died, not of drowning, but fright!
Mike
sskasser
09-29-2009, 08:21 AM
Great stuff! I'm glad I don't have to pick!
Two divers one Halloween night,
Dove a cave with no training, one light...
In the Stygian pools
Where the Grim Reaper rules
They died, not of drowning, but fright!
Mike
Hey good one!
Great stuff! I'm glad I don't have to pick!
Yea, but you may have to vote :-)
sskasser
09-29-2009, 12:35 PM
Yea, but you may have to vote :-)
Well alrighty then! Let the bidding begin! :smt081
OFG-1
09-29-2009, 01:55 PM
There was a cave diver from Live Oak;
Who bought a rebreather, and is flat broke;
The payments, you see;
Were just too much for he;
So his wife made his life a living hell from which light can not enter nor escape, and thats no joke!
(And thats about the scariest thing I can think of)
sskasser
09-29-2009, 02:18 PM
He shoulda bought her one FIRST! :roll:
MORGAN
09-29-2009, 02:22 PM
He shoulda bought her one FIRST! :roll:
Yup! I can spend all the money I want on dive gear with no objections from Tracy, as long as I buy two of whatever it is! :) She was the one who got us into this diving business in the first place!
Mike
Yup! I can spend all the money I want on dive gear with no objections from Tracy, as long as I buy two of whatever it is! :) She was the one who got us into this diving business in the first place!
Mike
Come on Mike, write us another winning limerick :-)
OFG-1
09-29-2009, 03:15 PM
He shoulda bought her one FIRST! :roll:
OK, OK
There was a cave diver from Live Oak
Who bought his wife a rebreather and is flat broke
The payment you see
Is just too much for he
So his wife screamed "Get a second job deadbeat, I need more Sorb", and that's no joke!
MORGAN
09-29-2009, 05:27 PM
Come on Mike, write us another winning limerick :-)
Post # 14 is what I've come up with so far - but we're launching out on our 1490 mile drive to Cathy's tomorrow!
I'll have plenty of time on the way down to think of limericks and try them out on Tracy - if she doesn't snap and shove a fleece drysuit sock in my mouth.
Though she puts up with my fiddle practicing - if she can stand that a few limericks shouldn't hurt her any.
Mike
JahJahwarrior
09-29-2009, 06:51 PM
On one dark night
he grabbed his light
dive gear on, he headed down there
into cave that does grown men scare
oblivious to upcoming plight
his plan turned into hell
as he swam into the well
his fin kicked up silt
in his mind it built
a panic he tried to quell
Ok-ing the line
he was doing fine
until he reached a visual
(he broke a rule, the criminal)
and now had not much time
He had lost the route
and air-- he was out
there his body stayed
until the recovery made
a family left without
We all pay heed to that fellow
whose worry was all too mellow
by checking our lights
and shaking off frights
refusing to be called yellow
Sometimes we go for a dive
in submerged caves we thrive
but let us never forget
that diver's fatal last bet
when we excuses contrive
-----
Marchand and I worked on this one together, I wrote it then he edited, then I edited, it went back and forth a few times with each of us changing a few words here and there.
Into a hole did Cavern Diver Joe go
Kicking way too hard against the flow
He was also breathing way too hard
All because he wanted that Intro Cave card
Obviously Cavern Diver Joe was no pro
Sixty minutes into the dive he got tired
Breathing nitrox 40% got him wired
The depth was merely one hundred eighty
Narcosis caused his head to feel weighty
As a diver he should have been fired
Though it was not his main aim
Somehow he made a name and got fame
Cave divers got together to form a quorum
They made him a moderator for this forum
Now each day he administers blame and flame
Tex
Sam2000001
10-01-2009, 01:38 AM
Cave diving is meant to be fun,
But no, no, not for this one.
He smiled and laughed,
Until he ran out of gas.
One less mother's son...
"I'll do it, I swear, I'm no tool"
"You can do it, I can do it, see, I'm cool"
They ran new line,
Now he's dead like the sign.
Go learn the skills in school...
sskasser
10-01-2009, 10:39 PM
This is NOT me (I have NO creative talent!!) This is by scubadam67, who gave me permission to share it:
There once was a caver named Mike,
Where he dove, your heartbeat it did spike,
With a tank on each side, through the crack he did slide,
The grim reaper was nowhere in sight.
This is NOT me (I have NO creative talent!!) This is by scubadam67, who gave me permission to share it:
There once was a caver named Mike,
Where he dove, your heartbeat it did spike,
With a tank on each side, through the crack he did slide,
The grim reaper was nowhere in sight.
Let's break that 3rd line...
There once was a caver named Mike,
Where he dove, your heartbeat it did spike,
With a tank on each side,
Through the crack he did slide,
The grim reaper was nowhere in sight.
sskasser
10-02-2009, 08:27 AM
Let's break that 3rd line...
There once was a caver named Mike,
Where he dove, your heartbeat it did spike,
With a tank on each side,
Through the crack he did slide,
The grim reaper was nowhere in sight.
Yeah, exactly! That's what happens when Shirley stays up past her bedtime ;) Thanks, TJ!
Terry D
10-02-2009, 09:16 AM
How can you say you have no creaive talent? You have proven yoursef again and again to have one of the sickest minds in caving. Always fast in wit and slur, rapid fire response, and an attitude that won't quit. Self depricating false modesty is unneccesary in your case.
sskasser
10-02-2009, 09:37 AM
one of the sickest minds in caving
ROFLMAO....that has got to be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! That's it...when I win the lottery, you and Bill are going on the payroll! :D
Thanks Terry (for reals!) :smt058
divindoubles
10-03-2009, 01:23 AM
On a dare, a cave diving knave
Spent Halloween night alone in a cave
There would be nothing to it
He’d be fine, he just knew it
And oh how his buddies would rave!
But trouble was waiting below
As all serious cave divers know
You do everything right
But in a moment of fright
Out the window your logic can go
Lights checked, reels attached, down he goes
Past the log, then the chimney, how it flows
He passes the sign,
Ties off to the line,
He’s loving this life that he chose.
His plan is to swim to the split,
Turn the dive, leave the eye, that is it
Then log onto the forum,
And with utmost decorum,
A great dive report he’ll submit.
Ah, but fate has a different plan,
For this robust and impudent man
How dare he intrude
On this night, it’s just rude
Learn humility this fellow can.
Just as he passes the mud,
He’s jolted by a violent thud
As his gas is escaping
His heart begins racing
And he feels a chill in his blood.
A problem he has, this he knows
His manifold valve he must close
But he’s diving wet
So his suit’s like a net
And that’s just the start of his woes.
Though he manages to save some gas
He can’t see a thing through his mask
For while he was reeling
He crashed into the ceiling
And his light took a hit to the glass.
Panic begins to set in
He grabs for his backup and then
It fall to the floor
To be seen no more
And his other one was on coming in.
No lights, off the line, in a pinch
He thought this would be such a cinch
But the reaper’s been called
And hovers there by the wall
Chuckling just like the Grinch
But out of the darkness, a light
He sees in the midst of his fright
A hand on his tanks
He starts to give thanks
He won’t buy the farm tonight
He’s on a seven foot hose
At the lips he finally slows
Back on his tanks,
He turns to give thanks
But through the keyhole his savior goes.
He never got the man’s name
No glory, no renown, no fame
Just a ghost from within
With SB on his fins
Heading back from whence he came.
timle
10-03-2009, 10:23 AM
A cave diver plans his flight
To begin on halloween night
A few kicks in
Turns tail to the wind
The Grim Reaper sign, such a fright!
metaldector
10-03-2009, 11:32 AM
The Devil came down from Georgia,
To High Springs to dive,
With lights, scooter, and reels,
And a dull gleam in his eyes,
For a soul Tonight, He’d try!
The Devil drove down from Georgia,
On Halloween Eve to dive,
With black rubber suit, fins, and hood,
And a mask to hide his eyes,
For a soul Tonight, He’d try!
The Devil came down from Georgia,
The Devil’s own system to dive,
With stealth, and cunning swimming,
And patients, with plenty of time on his side,
“I must a soul Tonight, I’ll try”!
The Devil came down from Georgia,
To High Springs to dive,
With an old caver he scootered,
And pushed to the end of the line,
A soul for him, this night, someone must surely die.
The Devil went back to Georgia,
The Trick or Treat had failed,
With a trained cave diver that survived
When everything started to fail,
No soul that night, Old Scratch had simply failed.
JerseyJersey
10-03-2009, 03:21 PM
we some very imaginative cave divers....good job
Atomic_Diver
10-05-2009, 12:17 PM
The Devil went down to Ginnie, he was looking for a soul to steal, he was in a bind and he was way behind he was willing to make a deal. when he came across this young diver breaking all the rules thinking he was hot, the devil jumped lines, swam over to the dude, and said boy let me tell you what, i bet you didn't know it but i am a rule breaker too, and if you care to take a dare i will make a bet with you. now you take pretty big risk boy, but give the devil his due, I'll bet a Reel of gold against your soul cuz i think i am better then you... the boy said well my names johnny and it might be a sin, but i'll take your bet, your gonna regret cuz i am the best diver ever been....
Johnny get your berings straight and find your way on out, cuz hells broke loose at Ginnie Springs and the Devil deals it hard, and if you win you get this shiney reel made of gold, and if you lose the Devil gets your soul......
the devil turned on his light and said now i will start this show, and fire flew from HID as he started it up, and he flashed the light in every which way to go, and by that time johnny said eat my silt devil cuz you will never know........
well thats the best my 16 year old brain can come up with at the moment, I know its not a Limrick but I hoped you enjoyed the Show!!!!!!!!!!!!
Atomic_Diver
Atomic_Diver
10-05-2009, 12:18 PM
oh shoot didn't see that someone else posted the devil went down thing..... oh well
:( :( :(
Atomic_Diver
10-05-2009, 12:21 PM
"shave and a Haircut 2 bits"
Squirrel Girl
10-05-2009, 12:38 PM
oh shoot didn't see that someone else posted the devil went down thing..... oh well
:( :( :(
I thought it was a pretty good job!
Personally, I'm kinda into Haiku.
Terry D
10-05-2009, 08:50 PM
Personally, I'm kinda into Haiku.
Jr. or Sr.?
Atomic_Diver
10-06-2009, 05:12 PM
Actually i think if i changed the part where "He was in a bind and was way behind" part of my little thing to He was in a Bind and Tangled in the line it would have been a bit better
Actually i think if i changed the part where "He was in a bind and was way behind" part of my little thing to He was in a Bind and Tangled in the line it would have been a bit better
Go back and edit it. It wouldn't hurt to put each phrase on a separate line.
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 02:24 PM
Ok guess who this one is about
If you've been on this site for awhile
His number of post will make you smile
He built his first cave diving toy,
When the Reeper was just a young boy
And he's still laying line by the mile
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 02:35 PM
ok next victim
With pink fins and duct tape she goes in
And she kissses the grim reepers chin
When asked why she does it each time
She replied for good luck with the line
But she still has to run the reel in
Slüdge
10-08-2009, 03:22 PM
If I'm next, somebody's in for a whuppin'. :smt075
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 03:26 PM
i was thinking about it but i know i couldn't get my grammer correct LOL
sskasser
10-08-2009, 03:27 PM
If I'm next, somebody's in for a whuppin'. :smt075
:rollguy Now who could possibly resist a challenge like that!? Heck, I might even have to try for that! :D
i was thinking about it but i know i couldn't get my grammer correct LOL
That would just make it all the better!
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 03:29 PM
ok i'll see what i can come up with and i'll let shirely do any needed editing LOL
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 03:55 PM
remembur shirley did the editing who is this one?
he brung hes famouss cold slaw
all hes grace without flaw
He scooter into JB
with FW U C
and the reaper now wants a new law
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 04:40 PM
He came down from the hills,
to see all Florida's thrills
With a G.E.M. round his neck,
Some locals tried giving him heck
but he'll have air when it's not just for drills
scubadam67
10-08-2009, 04:54 PM
A great Ozark cave teacher
at some forums a speaker
So tall and so thin
in small cracks he will bend
For Halloween he should play the grim reaper
TraceMalin
10-13-2009, 06:12 AM
When gothic winds haunt October
Swim the river bold and sober
Encounter your host
The Telford cave ghost
Obey 5 Rules or game over!
When gothic winds haunt October
Swim the river bold and sober
Encounter your host
The Telford cave ghost
Obey 5 Rules or game over!
Remind me to tell the story behind the Telford Ghost
TraceMalin
10-13-2009, 02:54 PM
Remind me to tell the story behind the Telford Ghost
Forrest, do tell! I first heard about a ghost from Lamar Hires in recovery class. He spoke of the strange disappearance of a diver and the much later discovery of remains. He told us about a few weird tales that happened to notable divers in that cave.
Prior to taking that course, my mask was pulled away from my face in Telford. My best guess as to how that happened is that when craning my neck to look up at the surface of one of the sinks, my isolator knob caught my slap strap and helped the mask off. That's the rational explanation anyway. I was alone, so it certainly wasn't from a playful buddy - well, none from this world anyway. :D
So, what's the story? I could use a spooky tale if you have one.
Too bad I can't make a limerick out of this :-)
This is a four part story. My version is first, Sheck Exley's is second, an update to the first part, then the "current" version.
Part 1
I came down to Florida to dive with Sheck Exley in August 1976. We did a short night dive at Peacock, then went over to Telford. The parking was full of sheriff's cars, and surrounded with crime scene tape. We pulled up to the tape, and a deputy stuck a flashlight in Sheck's face, and said "Oh, it is you, where is your buddy?" He pointed to me, and we drove up to the spring. When we were away from the deputy, I asked "Uh, what is going on?" Sheck said there had been a report of a missing diver, and they had already made 10 dives looking for him. He had promised to come back after the silt settled, and make one more.
Sheck told me that the sheriff was very buddy oriented, and asked me to gear up, and wait inside the entrance. I said that if I was going to gear up, I was going to dive. I had already pulled guys out of quarries, and a "dry" cave.
Once we got inside, we were swimming slowly, looking in all the nooks for a body. I noticed one of Sheck's backup lights was on, so I grabbed his fin and pointed at the light. He jerked around, like he was startled, and gave me the universal "I don't care about the light" hand signal. We went all the way to the (then) restriction past the second sink, and didn't find the guy. Sheck looked in the restriction, and decided that nobody could have gotten in there without leaving tracks in the silt, so we called off the search.
Sheck was convinced that The guy had pulled a disappearing act, and ran off from his buddy, and climbed out through the first sinkhole. It seemed to make sense because the guy owed a bunch of money.
Part 2 - about 2 years later
I heard Sheck telling his version in a parking lot a couple of years later. It went something like this:
"We were swimming along very slowly, looking left and right for a body. It was very spooky. Then all of a sudden something grabs my fin!"
Part 3 - Early '80s
Roger Werner was diving Telford, checking out the sidemount leads, and found a mask, and a couple of bones. He got the chills, and looked up. There was a skeleton in a wetsuit pinned against the ceiling.
Part 4 - 2003
Ron Bear took em to dive a cave in the panhandle, and told me this story:
"We were diving in Telford one time, and something grabbed my fin." I thought it was my buddy, but when I looked back he was looking a different direction. When we got out, I asked him about it, and he said it wasn't him, but he had heard stories about the Ghost of Telford"
I have heard several version since, and I guess that makes me the Ghost of Telford :-D
Squirrel Girl
10-13-2009, 05:25 PM
Good story, Forrest. Almost as scary as you, shaved, with a poorly done auburn dye job.
mwenner
10-13-2009, 10:10 PM
I have heard several version since, and I guess that makes me the Ghost of Telford :-D
It that when your hair all turned gray?
It that when your hair all turned gray?
It didn't scare me, it only scared Sheck :roll:
TraceMalin
10-14-2009, 11:18 PM
"The horror, the horror," remarked Kurtz
The DIR Philosophy hurts
Don't drink the Kool-Aid
For you will be made
A zombie-like creature in spurts
Sorry gang ... this one just popped into my head and I couldn't resist. I was trying to think of something more terrifying than an angry wife! I figured DIR, cave politics, and classic literature combined would be a nightmare! :D
Forrest, great story. Was there ever a slight collapse on Wes or some other diver during the search?
...Forrest, great story. Was there ever a slight collapse on Wes or some other diver during the search?
I don't really know. I was living in Virginia at the time, and missed the first 10 dives.
Puttzer
10-18-2009, 10:26 PM
As an older diver and someone who has attended a lot of funerals, including cave divers who were friends: these limericks are funny but tasteless.
But this is youth.
Enjoy your fun but be ready for old age reality.
Regards
TraceMalin
10-19-2009, 07:58 PM
As an older diver and someone who has attended a lot of funerals, including cave divers who were friends: these limericks are funny but tasteless.
But this is youth.
Enjoy your fun but be ready for old age reality.
Regards
Puttzer,
Even in jest, many of these limericks serve to remind people of their own mortality. One person may read a post and just laught about it, while another might laugh yet file away a mental note to be more careful and obedient to rules and practices that save lives. Halloween itself, is a holiday that currently focuses on those things which human beings intrinsically or primordially fear - death, the spirit world, and unknown or mysterious forces. I can say that I wrote "obey five rules" in my limerick for that reason. Gallows humor has always been popular with people whose activities have placed them at either a higher risk or a perceived risk. Youth is just youth and even young people who face and see death such as those in the military have a certain humor about it. (Think about cadences such as, "There was blood upon the risers, there was blood upon the chute...) Humor is a positive coping mechanism. In a politically overcorrected world, we are losing our ability to laugh, take life (and death) lightly, and cope with its tragedies.
I've lost 2 friends to Sac Aktun, and my dad just died, but I enjoy Halloween and all things spooky.
K Mejean
11-01-2009, 08:50 AM
All right. Who won?
Oops... already set something up!
Link (http://www.cavediver.net/forum/showthread.php?t=11659)
Terry D,
Send me an address and I'll ship off your prizes.
You won the Halloween Limerick contest.
Congratulations!
tj
sskasser
11-13-2009, 07:34 AM
Congrats Terry!
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